Trigger Warning: Discussion of bullying and suicide

When I was a sophomore in high school, I lost a teammate to suicide. It’s a loss that has stayed with me, shaping who I am and the mission of The GRL Initiative.

I’ll never forget the pride she felt over her new pair of basketball shoes. She came into the locker room beaming, showing them off to anyone who’d look. But then I watched in silence as upperclassmen tossed those same shoes into a laundry bin, shoved the bin with her in it, into the showers, and laughed.

I could see it hurt her. I did nothing.

When she died, the sorrow I felt for her and the rage I felt toward those so-called “teammates” was overwhelming. But the truth that stung the most? I hadn’t helped her when she needed it most. Maybe because we were competitors, maybe because I was 14 and I didn’t see the signs. The maybes… but I didn’t.

Her death became a turning point for me. It was the moment I realized I could no longer sit back while mean girl culture thrived in locker rooms, classrooms, or anywhere else. The damage it does isn’t just temporary—it can devastate lives, families and communities. My love for basketball was gone with her, I couldn’t be part of a community like that.

The legacy of my teammate drives The GRL Initiative. It’s why I fight for safe spaces for all student-athletes. It’s why I believe in creating teams where kindness, empathy, and leadership are the cornerstones.

To anyone reading this: Your voice matters. Whether you’re the one being bullied or the one witnessing it, you have the power to stop the cycle. Be an upstander, not a bystander. Speak out. Step in. It’s uncomfortable, but it saves lives.

And to my teammate: You will always be part of my purpose. Your memory fuels the work I do every single day to make sure no one else feels alone on their team. Although I didn’t act then, I will change the world now.

If this resonates with you or you’re struggling with similar feelings, please reach out for help. There is no shame in asking for support—it’s a sign of strength.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call or text 988

Text ‘HOME’ to 741741 for 24/7 confidential support

Let’s work together to make teams places of belonging, support, and love.

– Dr. Lauren, Founder of The GRL Initiative

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Stay Present, Play Strong: Mindfulness Practices for Young Women