Finding Belonging in a Third Space
Have you ever had a place where you truly felt like you belonged? Not home. Not school. But that third space where you felt seen, valued, and appreciated? As I wrapped up my doctorate in education last May, I delved into this concept of third spaces—safe, transformative environments outside of home and school. For high school and middle school students, especially athletes here in Vermont, this third space can be life-changing.
One thing that stood out in my research? Student-athletes overwhelmingly want a coach or advisor who cares about them as people, not just as performers on the field or in the classroom. That connection with a caring adult can make all the difference. When someone believes in you, supports you, and sees you for who you are, it can completely shift your outlook.
Why Third Spaces Matter
So, what exactly is a third space? It’s that middle ground—not your house, not your school—where you can truly be yourself. It’s the art club after school where you can nerd out about your favorite anime. It’s the basketball team that feels more like a family. It’s the music studio where you experiment with beats and lyrics that tell your story.
Third spaces are powerful because they allow you to explore who you are outside of your usual roles. These spaces let you breathe, connect, and grow. And if you don’t have one yet? The good news is, you can create one.
Creating Your Own Third Space
If your ideal third space doesn’t exist, why not make it happen? Start the club or community you wish you had. Here are some tips to get started:
Identify Your Interests: What lights you up? Whether it’s hiking, writing, gaming, or knitting, find something that brings you joy.
Find Your People: Share your idea with friends, classmates, or teammates. Chances are, others are looking for the same thing.
Keep It Simple: Your third space doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be as easy as reserving a classroom for a weekly hangout or meeting up at a local park.
Create a Welcoming Vibe: Make it clear that everyone is valued and included. This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about building a space where people feel safe and supported.
Be Consistent: A third space becomes powerful when it’s dependable. Show up, even if it’s just a few of you at first. Over time, your vibe will attract your people.
The Transformational Power of Belonging
As students, as athletes, as humans, we all crave belonging. A third space—whether it’s led by a caring coach, a passionate advisor, or a group of friends—can provide the kind of connection that changes everything. When you feel supported and valued, you can show up as your best self. And when you create that kind of space for others, you’re not just building a club or a team—you’re building a community.
So, what’s your third space? If you don’t have one, what kind of space would you create? Let’s start building.
Share Your Story
We’d love to hear about your third space. Where do you feel most like yourself? Or, if you’re starting something new, tell us about it! DM us or tag us on Instagram @thegrlinitiative.
