Do More Things That Feel Selfish
As a mom of two, my days are a constant blur of to-do lists, grocery runs, laundry piles, school drop-offs, and answering the eternal question: “What’s for dinner?” From the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning to when my head finally hits the pillow at night, it’s all about being productive and contributing to the household. Oh… and none of that mentions what I do for work!
But somewhere between folding towels and cleaning toilet bowls, I started to notice something: the me in all of it was slipping away. The things that brought me joy just for the sake of joy? Gone. Replaced by the nagging belief that if what I was doing didn’t directly contribute to my family or the never-ending list of responsibilities, it was selfish—and therefore, a waste of time.
But here’s the thing: it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. In fact, those selfish moments—the ones where you do something purely for yourself, with no measurable “value” attached—are the ones that can keep you grounded, happy, and, dare I say, balanced.
What Does Being Selfish Feel Like?
Let’s redefine what it means to feel selfish for a second.
Being selfish isn’t about ignoring your responsibilities or neglecting the people you care about. It’s about allowing yourself to exist as a whole person, not just as a mom, partner, teammate, or worker. It’s saying, “I matter too,” and carving out moments for the things that light you up inside—even if they add absolutely no value to your to-do list.
For me, selfish looks like:
Taking an hour to binge my favorite show without folding laundry in the background.
Blasting my favorite music on a solo car ride to grab coffee.
Adding in an extra pickleball session in the week because I want to.
Walking alone in the park, not for exercise or steps, but just to breathe and feel the sun on my face.
Meeting up with a friend for dinner when I’ve had a lot of nights out that week for work.
When I first started doing these things, I felt a twinge of guilt—like I should be doing something more productive. But you know what? That guilt is the very reason I needed to do them.
Why “Selfish” Things Are Actually Essential
Here’s the truth: running on empty doesn’t help anyone. When you’re constantly giving and never taking time to recharge, you’re not showing up as your best self for your family, your friends, or even yourself.
Doing something selfish—something purely for you—is like plugging in your phone when the battery’s about to die. It’s not indulgent; it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so stop feeling bad about filling yours.
Joy for the Sake of Joy
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that not everything you do has to have a purpose beyond simply making you happy. You don’t need to justify it. You don’t need to prove that it’s worthwhile.
It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to laugh. It’s okay to do something fun for no reason other than it feels good. And it’s okay to do these things even when the laundry isn’t folded, the dishes are in the sink, or there’s an email you haven’t answered. Those things will wait. You, on the other hand, need this moment now.
The Balance We All Need
When you take time to be selfish, you create balance. You remind yourself that life isn’t just about crossing things off a list. It’s about living. It’s about joy, connection, and yes, even silliness.
So, here’s my challenge to you: the next time something feels selfish—whether it’s sneaking off to read a book, taking an afternoon nap, or saying no to an obligation that drains you—lean into it. Those are the moments that recharge your soul. Those are the moments that keep you grounded, balanced, and whole.
Because the truth is, being selfish in small ways doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a happier one. And when you’re happier, everything else in your life feels lighter too.
Take it from this busy mom of two: you deserve it. 💛
