Breaking the Cycle: Navigating Gender Roles in Career and Home
We’ve come a long way when it comes to gender equality in the workplace, but somehow, some of the old ideologies about gender roles at home remain stubbornly in place.
As the primary income earner in my household, my career comes with long hours, unpredictable schedules, and time away from family. It’s stressful, it’s demanding, and it requires an immense amount of energy. But what makes it even harder? The expectation that I should still show up in the household in ways that align with traditional female roles—the ones that say I should still be doing the majority of the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and organizing, all while excelling in my career.
Where Gender Roles Collide
The reality is, these gender norms don’t just apply to women. While I’m feeling the pressure to “do it all,” the traditional expectations of men remain, too. My husband, for example, grew up with a different model of household roles. He’s an amazing partner, but that doesn’t change the fact that he never had to learn certain “female” tasks growing up. Not because he wasn’t capable, but because society never expected him to. So when I can’t be everywhere, when I can’t do everything, it leaves gaps. And that’s where the struggle happens—not because of unwillingness, but because the blueprint we were handed never accounted for these shifts in roles.
So what do we do to break the cycle and support strong, successful women in both their careers and their homes?
1. Recognizing That Every Family is Different
We need to stop assuming there’s one “right” way to run a household. What worked for your family growing up might not be what works for someone else. Some families have two working parents, some have stay-at-home parents, and some divide responsibilities in a completely unique way. The key is to respect and celebrate those differences, rather than comparing or expecting everyone to follow the same path.
2. Teaching Life Skills to All Genders
One of the most important things we can do is ensure that all genders learn the essential skills of home and career. Boys should know how to cook, clean, do laundry, and run a household just as much as girls should know how to budget, negotiate salaries, and change a tire. These aren’t “male” or “female” skills—they are life skills that everyone should have access to.
3. Accepting That Gender Roles Will Continue to Evolve
Contrary to the opinion of a certain outspoken football kicker, gender roles are changing because women are earning more seats at the boardroom table, which inevitably changes their roles at their kitchen tables. These roles are not finite, and they don’t need to be rigid. They ebb and flow as families evolve, careers shift, and life circumstances change.
4. Having Conversations About the Mental Load
It’s not just about who does what—it’s about who carries the responsibility of knowing what needs to be done. Women often take on the mental load of organizing schedules, remembering appointments, planning meals, and keeping the household running. The more we talk openly about these responsibilities, the easier it becomes to distribute them more equitably in a way that makes sense for each family.
Final Thoughts: The Future of Gender Roles is Fluid
The path to true gender equality isn’t just about opportunities in the workplace—it’s about redefining what home life looks like, too. The more we challenge outdated norms, share responsibilities, and teach future generations that there is no “right way” to be a family, the closer we get to a world where women don’t have to choose between success in their careers and peace in their homes.
Because at the end of the day, gender roles aren’t set in stone—they’re fluid, adaptable, and ready to be rewritten.
