What Your Athlete Really Needs From You (Hint: It’s Not More Critiques)
Hey parents,
Let’s talk about the car ride home after a game. You know the one—the post-game breakdown, where you might feel the urge to share what your daughter could’ve done better, point out that missed shot, or offer advice on what to work on next time. You’re doing it out of love because you want her to succeed, to thrive, to be her very best.
But here’s the hard truth: what she needs from you in those moments isn’t more critiques. What she needs is you.
As a parent of a student-athlete, your role isn’t to be her coach, her critic, or her drill instructor. It’s to be her safe space—the person she can turn to no matter how she performed on the field, court, or track. Let’s explore what that really means and how you can be the support system she needs most.
The Pressure She’s Already Facing
Let’s start with what it means to be a Gen Z female athlete today.
Your daughter is navigating a world where social media highlights everyone else’s "perfect" moments, where academic and athletic expectations are higher than ever, and where comparison feels unavoidable. Add in the pressure she puts on herself to excel, and you’ve got a recipe for overwhelm.
She already knows when she’s missed a shot, made a mistake, or fallen short of her goals. What she doesn’t need is a reminder of what went wrong. What she needs is a reminder that her worth isn’t tied to her performance.
What Your Athlete Really Needs From You
1. Unconditional Love and Support
Your daughter needs to know that she’s enough—just as she is. Whether she wins or loses, scores 20 points or none, she needs to hear that your love for her doesn’t depend on her performance.
What to Say:
"I love watching you play."
"I’m so proud of the effort you put in today."
"You’re amazing, no matter the scoreboard."
2. A Listening Ear
Sometimes, all she wants is to talk—not to hear advice, just to be heard. Let her take the lead in post-game conversations.
Try This:
Instead of jumping in with feedback, ask, "How do you feel about the game?"
Let her share her thoughts, frustrations, or victories without interruption.
This gives her the space to process her own experience and shows her that her voice matters.
3. A Cheerleader, Not a Coach
Your daughter already has a coach (or two or three). What she needs from you is someone who cheers her on unconditionally, no matter how she performs.
Be the Parent Who Says:
"I love seeing you out there having fun."
"I’m proud of how you kept pushing, even when it got tough."
Leave the technical advice to her coaches—they’re trained for it. You’re there to lift her up.
4. A Focus on Effort, Not Results
Instead of celebrating only her wins or points scored, focus on the effort, dedication, and resilience she shows every time she steps onto the field or court.
Shift the Focus:
From: "Why didn’t you make that play?"
To: "I loved how hard you hustled today."
This teaches her that what matters most is how she shows up, not whether she’s perfect.
5. A Role Model for Balance and Self-Care
Your daughter is watching you, even when you don’t realize it. Show her that it’s okay to rest, to take breaks, and to prioritize mental health.
Ways to Model This:
Celebrate her rest days as much as her training days.
Share your own ways of handling stress and finding balance.
When she sees you valuing self-care, she’ll feel more empowered to do the same.
The Ripple Effect of Your Support
When your daughter feels unconditionally loved and supported, the impact goes far beyond sports. She learns resilience, confidence, and self-worth. She feels safe to take risks, make mistakes, and grow—not just as an athlete, but as a person.
And here’s the thing: years from now, when her days as a student-athlete are behind her, she won’t remember every game or every score. What she will remember is how you made her feel.
She’ll remember that you were there—cheering her on, supporting her, and loving her through it all.
The Takeaway
So, next time you’re tempted to share a critique or offer advice, pause and ask yourself: "Does she need this from me right now?" Chances are, what she really needs is your love, your listening ear, and your unwavering belief in her.
Because at the end of the day, your role isn’t to perfect her performance. It’s to remind her that she’s already enough—on the court, in the classroom, and in life. 💕
We’d love to hear from you:
What’s the most meaningful way you’ve supported your athlete? Or, what’s a lesson you’ve learned along the way? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with us on social media!
Together, let’s help the next generation of GRLs rise, lead, and thrive—on and off the field. 💪✨
