Meet Lauren, who learned that sometimes walking away takes more courage than staying. Her story about toxic coaching and finding your power.
GRL: What was your first team sport experience like?
Lauren: I started with boys' tee-ball in kindergarten, which felt totally natural. My older brother had set the stage that we just get involved in sports – it wasn't even a question. Being on a team was just part of life.
GRL: When did things get complicated?
Lauren: By third grade, I was still playing baseball and faced this massive sixth-grader on the mound. He looked like a giant to me. He threw a ball that beaned me right in the wrist, and it really hurt. That's when I developed this fear of getting hit by the ball.
GRL: How did that fear show up?
Lauren: I remember this one dad yelling from the sidelines, "Don't worry, she's afraid of the ball!" And I WAS! It was embarrassing but also true. After that, I switched to softball, thinking it would be safer. Honestly though, I never really loved it – it was slow and kind of boring. I tried pitching just so I'd have something to do each inning.
GRL: Tell us about the coach situation that changed everything.
Lauren: I had this coach who consistently demeaned players. The final straw was in seventh grade when I was running to first base and he yelled, "Lauren, it's PMA – positive mental attitude – NOT PMS!" I was like 12 or 13 years old. Who says that to a kid?
"I walked off the field and never went back. I was proud of myself for standing up for myself and not taking his shit."
GRL: That must have been a huge moment.
Lauren: It was. I walked off that field and never went back. Even though he ended up being one of my high school teachers and definitely gave me some retribution after, I don't regret it. It was rude, demeaning, and showed his true character. I was proud of myself for not tolerating that treatment.
GRL: What did this whole experience teach you?
Lauren: It showed me the incredible power coaches have – both positive and negative. When I tried high school softball, my English teacher was the coach and practices were boring and uninspiring. If there had been a really good coach, I might have hung on longer. But it's okay when things aren't for you.
GRL: Where did you find your athletic passion?
Lauren: In high school, my love evolved into going to the gym and weightlifting as a life choice. I found my power there, on my own terms, without someone trying to tear me down.
"It showed me the incredible power coaches have – both positive and negative."
GRL: What would you tell someone dealing with a toxic coach?
Lauren: Trust your gut. If someone consistently makes you feel small or uses inappropriate language, that's about them, not you. Walking away doesn't mean you're giving up – sometimes it means you're choosing yourself. And that's actually the most courageous thing you can do.
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